My Beliefs: Hard Polytheism and the Supernatural
I am a hard polytheist and sometimes I find it hard to articulate to others why I am. In this modern world run by science, with paganism a viable path for naturalists and humanists, why don’t I just jump on the naturalist or pantheist pagan bandwagon? Indeed I have gone through bouts of agnosticism in my past, even now I have no choice but to acknowledge that I can’t possibly know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my beliefs are true, hence why they are “beliefs.”
But I came across this blog post that explains, better than I have ever been able to, why hard polytheism is (and should be) a viable belief amongst so many other ostensibly more “logical” alternatives.
There is also more to my personal story, a part that I am not always comfortable talking about, but it is relevant here. I have experienced (I might even say “been a victim of”) supernatural events to the extent that I have no doubt at all that something out there is immune from the laws of physics as we know them. So, believing in the supernatural is no problem for me. Before I married, supernatural goings on around me were of the sort that could be explained away by coincidence. Such things as playing with tarot cards for the first time in my life and reading in them that we would suffer a loss by theft or fire. Shortly thereafter, we lost out house to a fire. Of course, there were also the usual assortment of family ghost-stories that centered around lights, TVs, other electronic things turning on and off – seemingly in response to our actions at times. There was a remote control car that drove itself around the coffee table without running into anything. There was the mysterious hand that my brother and his friend saw closing a door in the basement and scared the crap out of them, the voice my mother heard that sounded like my father talking to her, but he wasn’t there, etc. But all of these things I could explain away. I didn’t personally witness most of them, so that alone made it easy to explain away. Besides being the one who spread out the tarot cards, I never witnessed the other stuff that my family talks about.
The only connection to me and those stories was that I lived in the same house where they occurred. My parents tell me nothing strange has happened since I left that house.
Then I got married and things got freaky. Like really freaky. Things that I cannot explain away. Sometimes I try. Some of the things (like my sand troll that kept taking “vacations” and reappearing in its spot on my dresser) I blamed on my husband as playing games with me. But the games became less and less funny and I would like to believe that by the time such games were starting serious arguments, that my husband wouldn’t continue them. But, hey, there are crazy people out there, I could have married one. 😮
Not everything could be blamed on my husband, though. Sometimes he wasn’t home when things happened. And I definitely can’t, for the life of me explain how I, no joke, witnessed pennies materialize out of nothing. One time, after my husband had gone to work, the crease of my knee felt really cold all of a sudden, but it looked alright. I had my knee folded up and folded it again after having investigated the strange feeling. I put my hand in the crease of my knee to warm it up – then a penny grew in my closed fist. The penny thing got crazy out of control for a while and occurred shortly after that start of other more malevolent goings on. I wondered if the source of the pennies wasn’t trying to protect me. I came home once to find a penny placed in the center of every door way in my house and above the door frames. No, that wasn’t a little weird. Sometimes they fell on my head from the empty air above. Ok, sure, maybe someone set up a crazy elaborate prank, and my husband had a sidekick messing with me when he wasn’t around. I don’t know. The other things that happened of a more malevolent nature, I don’t feel safe to discuss in detail. Whatever it is/was seemed to be aware of when I mentioned it.
Well anyway, that’s enough crazy talk. I know that no one believes other people’s experiences like these, and it’s not important to me if you do. I just put it out there to explain why I find it especially easy to believe in forces that defy science. Perhaps all of this has a logical explanation. Perhaps I’m staring in a Sherlock Holmes mystery. But even if I figure out the mystery, it won’t make me doubt my “illogical” spiritual beliefs.