Finding My Way + Altar Update
I’ve made mention here an there in previous posts, but just to reiterate: I have been surrounded by, victim of, and even sometimes a grateful recipient of supernatural phenomenon. For the longest time (since I was very young), I’ve felt like a magnet for all that the aspiring spirit worker or psychic dreams of encountering, but for me it has been nothing but scary at worst and confusing at best. I wished it away on many occasions to no avail. I never had any clue what to do with or about it all and I was afraid to even try working something out until now. Since beginning the ADF dedicant path, I feel increasingly more comfortable with the spirit world. I am still far from cozily at home there, but I finally feel like I am on the path to clarity.
My relationships with particular deities and lesser spirits are taking form and I am effectively channeling the constant buildup of otherwise indiscernible spiritual energy into a few different divination tools. I’ve had a fair number of intensely meaningful and almost unbelievable results since I’ve began these efforts. I have a very long way to go yet, but I feel so much better and more confident knowing that I am on the right path.
Besides deliberate efforts to channel all the incoming into easier-to-interpret forms, the spontaneous activity around me is becoming more clear. It’s sort of like that moment when you first see the picture in those hidden-image magic-eye things.
My search for a home-base of deities to honor has led me primarily to deities of the night. I began by trying to force relations with well-known personal deities, but I ended up with a more mysterious group in my midst — mostly deities associated with night. I have felt especially compelled to learn more about the moon. The night itself has always been dear to me. One of my mottos is “I am the night” – which is now nicely supplemented by a meme I found:
Bats are one of my mascot animals (along with whales and cats), the no touching thing – ~very~ important for an aspie, and the cuteness an unfortunate truth when one feels surly and powerful on the inside but comes across as pathetically meek – yeah, that’s all me. I am the night, but I am not the scary night.
Once upon a time I was going to become an astrophysicist for my love of the night sky. The moon, however, was second place to my deep-space fascinations. I paid it so little mind that I didn’t even know how to identify waxing or waning – a sad confession for an astronomy buff. However, the moon has become my current (Aspie) obsession. I simply have to learn ~ALL the moon things~ scientific and mystical alike. I recently learned that I have a moon sign. How awesome is that? (I am sun in Scorpio, moon in Aquarius).
A new obsession isn’t a “sign” in-and-of-itself, unless you count it as a sign of my autism. My life revolves around phases of obsessive interest in random things to the exclusion of all else. So, why not the moon?
But the moon thing has gone well beyond a personal interest. Mani has been popping up in the most unexpected places – the sort of places that easily surpass mere coincidence. I even caught myself saying “Woah, no way” a time or two. There are some experiences that you just **know** are meaningful.
So, Mani is at the front of my devotional practices, along with Nott. I am also slowly letting Woden in per the advice of a previous divination.
I have made a small update of my altar to reflect the current direction of my spiritual practices. I purchased a “dark moon” ritual cord from Beth Wodandis to adorn my alter. It represents my relationship with night, with bats even (it has the cutest little bat charm on it), the night deities and Woden as a deity of mystery (Beth suggested Woden as a relevant deity to this cord since he knows his way in the dark). It also adds an immediate magical energy to my ritual space.
You may also notice a few other changes since I last posted a picture of my altar. I changed the offering bowl because the last one did not hold up well to liquids. I have taller candles in the tealight holders because actual tealight candles were difficult to light without feeling like I was going to set the holder itself alight :o. To the right of the altar is a cruet set I got for pouring libations.
The ritual cord is very pretty up close and it smells lovely too 🙂 In addition to the bat charm, there is also a crescent moon charm and a black spinel crystal attached.
It’s strange to remember that when I first saw the cords Beth makes, I had no interest in them whatsoever until I saw one dedicated to Thor. I didn’t end up buying that one, but Its the one that drew me in and made me reconsider the cords in general. Thor was the one who led me to the northern tradition and since then he keeps popping up to guide me along the way, but he doesn’t seem so interested in direct interaction as of yet. I’m not sure what to make of that, but I’ll figure it out.