ADF Dedicant Path: Third High Day Recap (Winterfinding)
I was on my own for ritual the very first time this High Day. It was a little intimidating. I spent at least two hours on Halloween writing the my script. I couldn’t perform the rite on Halloween because I had trick-or-treaters to tend to, so November 1st was the day.
Everything ran much smoother than I expected. I had all my offerings ready to go, all my divination tools, everything was where I needed it to be. I went to the liquor store the day before to get something especially for Hel, the patron of my rite. I would have liked to have gotten Mead for the Shining Ones as a whole, but there was no mead where I went. I have heard rumor, though, that Hel likes Whiskey, so thats what I got. I stood in the whisky aisle and scanned all the options until something felt right. The first bottle that drew my attention was above my budget so I asked kindly if the Powers or Hel herself might suggest a second choice. Apple Whiskey it was. It smells absolutely lovely and my whole room smelled of apples as it sat in one of my libation pitchers.
Since Hel was Patron goddess, it seemed appropriate to call on Modgud as the gatekeeper. I have not dealt with her before and I got the feeling that she didn’t care too much for the incense I offered. Sorry Modgud!
I used my tarot deck to take the omen rather than my usual rune set. I am trying to break in my deck and get more familiar with it before I visit my family for Yule (so I can do readings for them). The omen was a positive one. I drew a card for each of the three Kindred. For the ancestors, The Lovers; For the Nature Spirits, an inverted Page of Pentacles; and for the Deities, the Ace of Wands. Considering that most of what I had to say to the ancestors tonight involved apologies for neglecting them and a request to forge a closer bond, the Lovers card was a welcome one. The inverted card, however, was slightly disconcerting, but it didn’t tell me anything I don’t already know. The Ace of Wands came to the rescue as a light at the end of the tunnel, a seed of hope. I took the overall message to be positive.
Since the veil between worlds is thin at this time, I thought it a good time to ask about a patron. If there is a best time for receiving clear messages, it would be now. I asked if any of the Germanic pantheon is interested in becoming my patron and I drew both a card and a rune from which to divine a message. My first interpretation of the message led to Mona, a deity with whom I am already close, but not one I’ve ever known to act as a personal patron. I wondered if my interpretation wasn’t biased since Mona was already in my thoughts. Just in case, I asked for a simple yes or no from my pendulum. I got a yes. I am still in doubt about Mona as a patron, but never mind that. He is already a very important deity to me, and if that relationship is to develop into something more, I’ll leave it up to time to tell.
Putting aside my reservations about Mona, I felt like a was missing a huge chunk of the message. Not all aspects of the card and rune pointed clearly to Mani. I considered that maybe there is more than one deity trying to communicate with me. I looked at the message again and all of a sudden I just knew that it was Freó. Not just in a stretch-the-interpretation kind of way. It was clear, it felt clear. I had no doubt this time. But Freó? Really? I’ve heard time and again that a patron can very well be one a person has absolutely no affinity towards. But still, Freó? What can I possibly do for her? I’m not the promiscuous, free-love, comfortable-with-my-sexuality sort, scorpio though I may be. I sometimes wish I was, but it’s not me by any means. Me, who held fast to my virginity until marriage because it seemed like the most wonderfully romantic thing to do and me, who has no desire of ever procreating? What can this sexy fertility goddess want from me? Yes, I know she is much more than a goddess of love and sex. She has a lot of titles. I respect her very much as the goddess she is, but I am still confused why she’d want anything to do with a prude like me. Nonetheless, I am pleased to have experienced such a clear message about Her and I hope to discover, in time, what it is She sees in me.