Monthly Archives: January 2016
This tea from The Forest Witch is ~amazing~ Seriously you guys, get some!
When I saw that her shop was offering sample sizes, I got almost every kind I found without ginger and coconut. This particular tea has, green tea, rose, jasmine, lavender, apple, and cloves. Floral flavors have historically been hit or miss for me. Jasmine especially has beeb a main ingredient in many teas that I can’t stand, but it’s also been in some of the good ones.
If sample sizes weren’t available, I probably wouldn’t have tried this tea. Not only because I was wary of the ingredients, but also because Frigg isn’t currently part of my personal pantheon. Last summer, when I was trying to sort out my pantheon and performing multiple divinations to confirm or make sense of my intuitions, Frigg was a goddess I was drawn to. I had my eye on a small portable shrine to her from Beth Wodandis’ shop for a while and many pieces of Frigg devotional jewelry were on my favorites list.
I performed most of my divinations during the “workings” portion of my ADF-style rituals to make sure that the Powers were really there to respond. I also asked about the results of previous divinations several times to make sure I was getting consistent results. When I asked about Frigg, I got a neutral response. No strong indication that she has any particular interest in working with me, but also no indication that I shouldn’t attempt to forge a relationship if I wanted to. Because I wanted to keep my personal pantheon small for the time being, I wanted to work on relationships with the deities who really had particular interest in working with me. When Woden indicated interest, I freaked out thinking I wasn’t ready for that relationship and thought that I might feel more comfortable working my way to him through Frigg. My divinations suggested I don’t do this. So I didn’t. And I survived, haha. Woden has a way of telling it like it is. No sugar coating. But I know he does so for my own good, so it’s cool.
But this tea has rekindled my interest in getting to know Frigg. It tastes like a hug in a cup. Like a mother’s love, but also like something mysterious and powerful, as one should expect from a cup of tea made for a goddess. Perhaps since I’ve gotten over my Woden fears, I can try again with Frigg. I’ll keep you all posted.
In other news – I thought of the perfect name for my shop! I don’t exactly have a shop yet, but I will, soon, hopefully. I don’t have much money at the moment to spend on supplies and I’d like to practice some of my not-recently-used skills as well as one or two new ones before opening shop. I’m really really hoping it can happen before the end of the year. I don’t want to share the shop name just yet, but I am so happy that I thought of it and that it seems be available (not trademarked and the domain is available too so I got it just to have for now). Yay for small steps in the direction I want to go 🙂
I need to rant for a bit. I try not to do so too often, but I’m just so frustrated and someone has to know.
I got a part time job. Nothing glamorous and it pays barely anything, but it’s something to bring in a few extra bucks while my husband is looking for a better job.
Anyway, I needed to get some appropriate clothing to wear for work, so I went shopping. I hate shopping. Especially clothing shopping. I don’t mind window shopping or some non-clothing shopping. It’s easier to bear if I’m with people – but sometimes that too can add to my stress. Malls are the worst for me. I like them for a short while. I like the small gift shops and fun trinkets all around, but I hate the non-stop social interaction. Clothing stores are the worst – sales people talking to me the minute I walk in. Ugh, I can’t take it! Go away, don’t talk to me. **Please,** people. I try not to make eye contact. I make wide arcs around every sales person, but they come after me anyway. Apparently Aspies aren’t the only ones who misses social queues :/. I can usually handle about three, maybe four (on a good day) clothing store interactions. After this, I tend to become visibly stressed. I am a passive person for the most part and don’t like to stir up trouble, but when I’m at my social-interaction limit, my responses can become curt and sometimes rude. I don’t mean to be rude. I’ve been known to return to a store before leaving the mall to apologize to anyone I might have been so with.
For some reason, malls give me the most trouble. I can put on the neurotypical act for a long time in many other settings. I have been praised for having the best customer service skills in most of my jobs. I’m not even kidding. I’ve had people ask for me by name because I’m the “friendly one.” Something about the mall just puts me on a borderline meltdown mode as soon as I walk in.
When my husband is with me, he keeps the sales people away whenever he can. However, he doesn’t mind being rude right away. He’s not a terribly friendly person to people outside his own circle. He is rude because he just doesn’t like people. The people aren’t my problem. I love people and I hate it when I do anything to offend someone I don’t know. I am not annoyed at the salespeople so much as stressed around them. I start panicking and I can easily get a headache within 15 minutes if pressured into too much conversation.
I prepare myself in advance for trips to the mall. I get plenty of rest the night before. I don’t do anything else stressful before leaving. On a good day, I can make it into all of the clothing shops provided the conversations are limited to a quick “hi, how are you?” If they keep talking after my “fine, thank you,” my anxiety sets in.
At the mall today, I went to Maurices first. The salesperson there wouldn’t leave me alone! It was the creepiest thing! She started with the customary “how are you?” and the conversation progresses as follows:
me: “I’m good, thanks”
her: “did you work to day?”
me: (I freeze up as I struggle to make sense of a question out of the usual context – does she think I work there?) I hesitantly answer, “no,” and try to ignore her.
her: “Oh, so you got the day off!?”
me: (feeling really out of my element. I didn’t practice for this. It’s not the usual small talk. what do I do??) I nod and give a half nervous smile. What business is it of hers anyway if I worked, if I even work at all? seriously, what was her deal???
her: “oh fun, so you are here to shop till you drop?!”
me: “uh, i guess. but I really don’t like shopping” she gives me a concerned “oh?” and I say, “I don’t like a lot of things that most people like, but I have to shop sometimes.” A stupid reply, really, but I had no idea what to say and I wanted to figure out how to get away from this situation without coming across as rude. I walk away from her again and avoid eye contact. She notices me look at a table of jeggings.
her: “so you’re here looking for something particular then?? some jeggings”
me: “no, I’m just looking,” I say as I hurry to the other end of the store. Another stupid reply considering my previous comment about not liking to shop – but again, what business is it of hers?
I stalled before most of my replies, really confused about how to answer. I’m pretty sure the panic was showing on my face by my final reply, but I made my way to the exit before she could say anything else.
So, wonderful, I was in the mall not even 10 minutes and already stressed. Fan-freaking-tastic.
Perhaps we should move on now to *why* I was even in the mall. There are other places to buy clothing. The mall isn’t even close by – it’s a 30min drive. It certainly wasn’t my first choice. My first choice was the Kohl’s that is a couple blocks away from me. A large, mostly quiet store, close to home – perfect! I don’t need anything fancy, just some black pants. Any black pants. All my black pants are jeggings. In that entire store, and trust me, I went through every single folded pile and rack of black pants, there was only ONE size 2 in the women’s section. ONE. Ugh, no surprise really. I shop in the juniors department a lot. I don’t mind most of the time, but at 33, I should really be able to shop with the rest of the grown-ups. I don’t like low rise jeans, and though I can usually find something that works for me in the juniors, it takes ~a lot~ of trying on because nothing is consistent in junior’s sizing. The pants might be made for people of my general size, but not for a fully grown woman’s hip and butt. Usually, if I can find size 2 in the adult women’s department, it will fit. More dependable, yet so much harder to find. And for heavens sake, I am an adult! Sometimes I want adult fashions, especially for work. Yes, I know there are young-adult shops for the early 20s crowd. That’s why I ended up going to the mall. But in the average department store, I can shop in the tween/teen section or not at all, pretty much. I didn’t go in there with a mind to be picky. Honestly, I was desperate enough to take ANYthing that fit. There was plenty of “my size” in the junior’s department, but the fit was off as it so often is unless I can find high rise pants. I found one nice pair of pants in the juniors department that I loved. Only one like it. Turns out it’s not a brand they sell. It was an erroneous return and I couldn’t keep it 😦
I went home with the only pair of size 2 for grown-ups in the entire store. A tacky pair of straight leg pants with a hem slightly too short for me. As I picked them up off the shelf, I gazed at the pictures above of adult women who are probably a size 0 modeling the pants that seem to begin, for the most part at sizes 4 or 8 in the store. What in the world is up with that? I remember some time ago being in a store and asking if a particular item came in size 2 and they said yes, but they don’t stock size 2, so it’s order-only.
So many of my more voluptuous acquaintances lament that I am so lucky because shopping must be easy. Oh people. The grass is not greener anywhere else. Really, it isn’t.
Well, so, I suffered a trip to the mall. I found plenty of skinny jeans and jeggings. Most non skinny black pants are either excessively dressy or don’t exist. Why do all the bootcut and flare style pants only come in blue denim these days? But, believe it or not, I found the most perfect pair of black flare bottom pants. I love them so much, you have NO idea. And, they were the only pair left in the store. I could have bought at least twenty size 4s and a store full of size 13s, but there was only one size 2. 😦 They were on clearance and the cashier said they are probably discontinued. I went online and found them, also on clearance, though not as cheap as in-store. It said “only a few left!” when I clicked on my size. I added four to my online cart and paid for them. Now I’m hoping I don’t get the dreaded “we cancelled your order” email I get when online inventory isn’t up to date. I really really hope I get my order. Please, everyone, hope for me too! I don’t want to go to the mall again . (´;︵;`)
The Winter Cross-Quarter is most commonly known as Imbolc among Neopagans. At this time of year, we can finally begin to see the effects of the Sun’s return. The Earth is awakening from her Winter slumber and the first signs of spring can be seen. This is the High Day of new beginnings. It is time to put in motion plans made during Yule for the coming year.
Solomoþ (or Ewemeolc) is the Anglo-Saxon holy tide associated with the February cross-quarter. Solmonaþ refers to the month of February. The word “sol” is variably translated as mud, cakes, or sun. Bede translates it as “cakes” due to the seasonal tradition of offering cakes to the gods, particularly to the Earth Mother (Eorðe). Ewemeolc refers to the lactation of the ewe’s which usually took place in early February (Albertsson, 157).
This is the time of year when the Saxon (and most Indo-European) pagans began preparing for the planting season. To that end, a “Charming of the Plough” ritual took place, during which ploughs would be brought out from storage and blessed to ensure bountiful crops.
Modern traditions for Imbolc include spring cleaning and lighting a candle in every room of the house to celebrate the returning light of the sun. Most Neopagans honor the Celtic goddess, Bride (or Brigid) on this day and it is customary to leave out a piece of cloth by the hearth overnight for Her to bless.
Albertsson, Alaric. Travels through Middle Earth: The Path of a Saxon Pagan. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 2009. Print.
(End of DP essay)
As for my personal relationship with this holiday, it’s undergoing some changes. I never much cared for February. I often get seasonal depression in Spring. February may still look and feel like winter in most of the places I have lived, but I am most affected by time spent in anticipation. I love anticipating autumn and the winter holidays much more than living through them. Does that even make sense? I tend to live my life in the future. Yes, I know, bad, bad. I always hear how important it is to live in the present, and I have been making efforts to do so. However, I don’t exactly “not” appreciate the present. I don’t look to the future because I would rather be there (well, OK, I’ve been guilty of that a time or two), I like the feeling of the future in the present air. I love the present because I can feel what’s coming, and that feeling only exists in the present.
Anyway, February feels like Spring is coming. And Spring has never been my favorite season. It’s muddy. It’s slushy. If there was a lot of snow the previous winter, there is probably going to be a lot of flooding as it melts. And the bugs! Ugh the bugs. Yeah, ok, bad on me again for not loving the bugs. I love them from a distance. I try to be nice to them. I have a bugzooka for transporting them (alive) to the outside. But ugh, the sound of flies inside all year long because one or two inevitably sneaks in at some point during our comings and goings. Having to constantly shake out my shoes to make sure there’s nothing creeping in them. My terrible phobia of wasps…
Nevertheless, I have new ambitions for this spring time, so I am almost looking forward to it. I am going to plant my first garden! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶ And, with my husband’s help, I am going to make the back yard look more like the sacred space it is. I will be performing my own mini blessing ritual to prepare the garden tools and hopefully ward them against my not so green thumb. 🙂 Speaking of which, that little Money tree I bought last summer is still alive. 😮 I am off to a good start already :p
Week 4! Question: “What is your take on the Wheel of the Year?”
My favorite number (4), but not my favorite topic from the list. No matter, I managed to ramble about it for almost 15 minutes.
My camera settings got messed up and this camera confuses me, so this video is blurry
Our Own Druidry defines piety as,
correct observance of ritual and social traditions, the maintenance of the agreements (both personal and societal) we humans have with the Gods and Spirits. Keeping the Old Ways, through ceremony and duty.
Merriam-Webster defines piety as,
1. the quality or state of being pious as:
a. fidelity to natural obligations (as to parents)
b. dutifulness in religion
2. an act inspired by piety
3. a conventional belief or standard
Both of the sources above focus on piety as a duty. Although the dictionary includes belief as part of the definition, it is given as the least-common use of the word. I would further clarify it a misuse of the word. It is possible to hold an orthodoxic belief in the gods and their nature, for example, but take no pious action to honor this belief. It is also possible to perform according to a church’s orthopraxy, but to feel no spiritual connection to the actions performed. The latter is known as false piety. Piety, per my own definition, is the fulfillment of devotionally-motivated duty, where devotion is what transforms action into a spiritually fulfilling experience and may be to the gods, the Earth, the ancestors, or the self.
Piety transforms a belief system or worldview into a living tradition. It unites members of a particular spiritual path into a distinct community. The motivation to be pious should not stem from an isolated desire to be part of a community, nor must one necessarily belong (somatically or otherwise) to a community in order to be pious. One might create their own unique pious traditions for which there does not yet, or may never, exist a community. What matters is that there exists a defined orthopraxy (shared or not) by which one fulfills their pious duty.
n.b. I have modified this essay from the original in order to reflect my current understanding of the virtue.
Yay week three! I am loving this challenge so much ٩(^ᴗ^)۶
The question for this week: Do you have an alter/shrine/sacred space?
In which I respond to questions from slightly altered versions of an about-me and throwback tag.
I am sad to admit that my magical practices have been few and far between since leaving Wicca. I do a sprinkling of kitchen witchery, candle magic, and not much else these days, unless I can count divination.
Getting back on track with my spirituality has been my priority and the ADF dedicant path studies have more than adequately filled my time. But as I am about half way through the dedicant path, and feeling a lot more stable with my spiritual and devotional practices, I’m starting to think more about my future magical plans.
I’m struggling to find good resources for non-wiccan witchcraft, but there are a few gems out there. Many of the traditional witches I have come across online are adamant that the traditional crafts can’t be learned from a book. As idealistic and poetic as that sounds, I like books. Not for everything, mind you. But I have a hard time starting something without an introductory source text. I’m the sort who won’t touch any new technology (with some completely random exceptions) without reading the manual first. Is this an Aspie thing? I dunno, because I don’t think its very INTJ of me. *Shrug*
I’m strongly considering the Magician’s guild study program, also offered by ADF, once I finish the dedicant path. The ADF programs all seem to offer the structure I need while encouraging a healthy amount of independence. I want my cunning arts to be my own, I just need some guidance as I find my way.
Yay a video challenge!! I’ve wanted to do one of these for a long time, but I never come across any when they are active, and its not fun to do one all alone 😦 haha.
I am really excited about doing this. I want to start making ASMR videos before the end of the year, but I need to get more comfortable with and in front of the camera. This challenge should help me to that end.
Because I discovered this challenge a week late, I had to film the first two weeks back to back.
It took me **forever** to upload them. Every possible technological problem that could happen did happen. I was up till 4am last night trying to get these up on YouTube. Hopefully I won’t have so much trouble in the future.