It’s the middle of August, the hottest month of the year in much of the Northern Hemisphere, and here I am asking, “where did the summer go?” Maybe it’s a side effect of capitalist enterprise and the need of retail establishments to market upcoming seasons well before they arrive, but I tend to feel like I am already in the next season well before the last one is over.
I have a habit of paying more attention to the future than to the present. My whole life revolves around what is to come while I struggle to appreciate what already is. I suppose this can be expected, considering that I am an INTJ personality type. We tend to lose sight of the trees for the forest. Whatever I have in front of me now, I perceive in light of what it will become as soon as I obtain the missing pieces (literally or figuratively). On the other hand, one of my more braggable superpowers entails the ability to notice every possible detail Sherlock-Holmes style in addition to the big picture. Perhaps this is ASD related. With Aspergers and an INTJ personality, I couldn’t be more prepared to take over the world (I hear this is what INTJs are supposed to aspire to do 😉 ).
In a strange sort of way, I often feel like I am simultaneously in the present and not there at all. I forget to smell the roses, but I notice everything. Most of the time. Sometimes I really am gone. Ok, a lot of the time I am gone. As in, not in the present tense. But I tune in often enough to catch more details than your average Joe.
Anyway, back to summer. Or maybe I should say, “back to school.” That’s the real problem here. School is starting up again. Of course it feels like summer is over. Summer is hopelessly tied with the concept of vacation and if there is no vacation going on, it can’t possibly still be summer, no matter how badly I am melting in the sun while reading Hegel.
Speaking of melting, I certainly did plenty of that this morning. Yikes, was it hot or what?! Usually, if I can get out for my run before 10am, it’s not too bad, but today reminded me that I really ought to consider an earlier running time. I have to, anyway, with my school-year schedule coming up. I started running in the later morning because the mornings were still so cold in May and June. They’ll be cooling off quite a bit again soon and I will have no choice but to run in the cold. It seems I just can’t win. I get cold really easy and I get too hot really easy too. I have Raynaud’s, so getting cold is not advisable, but I hate melting too. I need very carefully calibrated climate control for maximum productivity.
I’ll just be grateful that I haven’t had too many run ins with wasps this year. A few, but I survived. I think wasps are the number one reason that I don’t like summer. If there were no aggressive flying insects in the world, summer could be my second favorite season. Or not. We’ll never know 😉
I recently wrote about my decision to embark on a Gaelic/Heathen spiritual path in order to focus my practice. Being an Aspie (and, incidentally an INTJ personality type) I need some amount of structure in my life. There’s still the matter of this nagging INFP-ish Luna Lovegood side of me. I have no explanation for it. Make of me what you will. Obviously, if I needed structure so much, it wouldn’t have taken me fifteen years to apply it to my spiritual practices.
But I digress. I’m writing this post to let everyone know that I’ve become a member of ADF and intend to begin their Dedicant Training Path. I will dedicate a category of this blog to my progress.
The training program is designed to take one year, but I expect (if I stay committed) that it will take me twice as long. I still have to make it through two more semesters of graduate school and when summer is over, I will have little time to take a bathroom break, let alone study extracurriculars. Nevertheless, I’m going to give this a try and see how it goes. If I need to take two years, then so be it. I will be learning and growing spiritually my entire life, so there is no rush to “finish” a specific program.
I am excited to begin this new chapter of my pagan journey and I hope to gain much insight from it.
I am also looking forward to celebrating Midsummer with my local ADF Grove this weekend. \(^o^)/